Time, Your Finite Resource

Everything you do takes time, whether it is brushing your teeth, going to the gym, eating lunch, taking on a project, spending time with your family, writing a report, staying for drinks after work, taking up a new hobby, reading a book, watching a film, listening to a friend, studying for a qualification.

Considering time is possibly your only finite resource – once time has passed, you are never getting it back – where do you want to be spending your time each day, week, month, year?

Most of us are spending the majority of our time at work, but what happens when we are spending excessive amounts of time at work? This can lead to the perpetual work/life balance quandary, and in the worst cases can be one of the factors that leads to occupational stress and burnout.

We can point to technological advancements making things quicker, and the web making things more connected, and companies expecting more from employees. And all of these are true, but we can also take some personal responsibility.

We all have 24 hours in a day, and we can choose how we spend that time.

Biggest life regrets

You’ve possibly heard of the palliative care nurse, Bronnie Ware, who wrote a book called ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’(1). The five universal regrets that came through again and again are:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

The good news is that you can make a choice to change how you are thinking about, and spending, your time now, so these won’t be things you regret in your life. 

When you say yes, what are you saying no to?

If you accept the concept that time is a finite resource, it means that every time you are saying yes to an activity, by default you must be saying no to spending that time doing something else.

So when your boss asks you to bring the deadline forward, or a client asks you to take on another project when you are already snowed under, when you say yes, what are you actually saying no to?

Is it not having a lunch break?

Is it not being able to have date night as planned?

Is it not being able to go to your child’s play or being able to put them to bed?

Is it not having time to look after yourself properly?

Is it not being there for a friend?

Is it not being fully present when making memories on your family vacation?

I know the decisions are not always easy, but bringing a consciousness into what you are both saying yes, and saying no to, can help you choose where you really want to be spending your time.

Sometimes it might be that you decide to put work first because you are passionate about what needs to be achieved, or a promotion is in sight, but this is different from blindly saying yes without considering what you are saying no to – and accepting that you do have a choice.

Are you proud of how you are spending your time?

Knowing your own values and what is important to you can really help you guide where you want to be spending your time. Maybe ask yourself:

1. What does living a life true to myself mean?
2. What is it that makes me happy?
3. How can I bring more of that into my life?
4. Where would I choose to spend my time if I wasn’t working excessive hours?
5. Who do I want to spend more time with?

Making these things as much of a priority as work or other commitments that you feel you ‘should’ be doing can help you gain some balance back.

You are an adult and can set boundaries.

It isn’t always easy, and you can’t guarantee how others will react or respond. There might be consequences to your actions, however, you have the right to choose where you want to spend your precious resource of time. 

You can choose what is most aligned to your values, so you don’t mindlessly accept a life chosen by others or your work, that you might end up regretting.

Saying ‘no’ to others can be hard but remember that when you are saying yes to someone else, you are still saying no to someone – and that someone is you, and possibly the life that you really want to be living.

To find out more about Lindsey Hood, visit: www.lindseyhood.net

References:

1. Bronnie Ware (2009) The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departed. Available at: www.bronnieware.com